


Ray of Impossible Hope

by angleico315678



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Christmas, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pentecost/Sevier family, mulan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 06:33:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angleico315678/pseuds/angleico315678
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas with and without Tamsin and Mulan. <i>Stacker Pentecost closed his eyes. He understood now how Tamsin slept painlessly with Mako. She was a little piece of solace in this godforsaken planet, a ray of impossible hope.</i> Pacific Rim Secret Santa for chasmas. Beta by snack_size.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ray of Impossible Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This was for chasmas at the Pacific Rim Secret Santa. Her prompt was "anything with tiny pentecost (&sevier) fambly." Sorry it's a bit depressing. Also, thanks to the amazing snack_size who betaed for me. She's awesome. 
> 
> A little warning though, this is not linear with the events leading up the events in Pacific Rim. It doesn't match with Tamsin's storyline, little bits of it do but not entirely.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Pacific Rim.

Tamsin used to be the one to put up the star on the Christmas tree every year. Her last year, she propped Mako onto her lap and let her stand on her thighs to place the star on the tree. Mako was hesitant at first, nervous that she was going to hurt Tamsin since she was still weak from taking her daily fistful of pills. 

 

“Tamsin-sama, are you sure this is okay?”

 

Tamsin smiled and assured her that it didn’t hurt at all. 

 

“It’s mostly the wheelchair that is supporting your weight. With all that squeaking, it means that you’re growing Mako.”

 

And as Mako placed the star on the tip of the tree already illuminated with lights and ornaments, she felt gentle stroking of her calf. She wouldn’t see the tear or the quivering lips. Tamsin Sevier did not easily show emotion; not when she could help it. 

 

As Mako got off of Tamsin’s wheelchair, she knelt down onto her knees and bowed with one hand placed upon the other on her lap- a traditional Japanese sign of great respect. That, Mako decided later, was her gratitude for saving Japan, for saving her. 

 

Tamsin’s hand covered her mouth and shook. Her eyes were glossy and she took a stuttered breath. They both knew what was to come, the undeniable truth of her situation. And unlike other households, the Seviers and Pentecosts do not enjoy pretending that everything is okay. They steel their resolves and accept it for what it is. 

 

They would not be crushed by false hope. There was a time when they thought that her cancer was gone only to be gravely disappointed by the sudden onslaught of illness when it struck her again. It was different though, this time she refused treatment. Instead, she took the painkillers that dulled her mind and slowed her movements. _Let it run its course as mother nature would have it_. 

 

Mako would hear the quiet growling arguments of the Marshall and the breathy retorts of Tamsin. Ultimately, it was her choice to make. Her journey and her end, the way she would want it. 

 

Tamsin outstretched her hand to Mako, tugging her hand gently, signaling for her to rise. 

 

“Come on Mako, enough of this. Let’s sit on the couch and watch a movie. What will it be this time? Mulan again?”

 

Tamsin gave Mako a knowing grin. They’ve watched that movie at least a dozen times. They knew every verse of every song, every line of every character, yet they would still cry at the end. There was something that hit home with Mako when Mulan would place the sword upon her father’s lap and offer him the proof of her courage. It was the way that Mulan had saved that city from ruin with intelligence and grace that Mako wanted to see herself with. 

 

And Tamsin saw it. She saw everything. Tamsin was the only one who would watch Mulan with Mako. Stacker never had any time due to the Kaiju ravaged world that was plaguing him. How Mako longed to carry his sword or step into a jaeger and prove to him that the courage he instilled in her was worthy. Or maybe prove to her father that the swords he created would never be as worthy as she would make him. The Mori and Pentecost name would live on. 

 

_Who is this girl I see_

_Staring straight_

_Back at me_

_Why is my reflection someone I don’t know_

 

Mako sang these lyrics with conviction. Too much conviction for a child her age, Tamsin would think. With too much burden, Mako carried herself with the gait of a worn down general and a conscience to match Stacker’s. Tamsin worried about what would become of Mako and Stacker once she was gone. Would ambition and determination create a rift that even closing the Kaiju hole would not heal? Not if she could help it. 

 

_Somehow I cannot hide_

_Who I am_

_Though I’ve tried_

_When will my reflection show?_

_Who I am?_

 

Mako’s face was scrunched up as she stumbled over the lyrics, still unsure with the pronunciations. Tamsin lifted a finger to move a strand of her hair back into the neatly combed bob cut then moved it to stroke her cheek. 

 

“You and Stacker should spend more time together.”

 

Mako bit her lower lip, hands clenched.

 

“Stacker-sama is busy with Kaijus, it is important what he does.”

 

Tamsin gave Mako a sad smile. 

 

“And you know that you’re important to him too, right Mako?”

 

Mako looked down at her clenched fists. 

 

“Mako…You will make Stacker proud. You already make him proud.”

 

Tamsin lifted her other hand to lift Mako’s face and used her thumb to brush away a tear. Poor girl kept losing people. But then again, so did everyone else. She’s fighting to regain control over everything that she can’t. Mako reminded Tamsin of her younger self, so angry with the world, so dejected at her helplessness. Tamsin knew the path Mako had set out on, one of vengeance and approval. Never the right reasons. 

 

“You know why Mulan took her father’s place right?”

 

Mako nodded fiercely. 

 

“To prove her worth. To prove that she can fight and help. To make her father proud.”

 

Tamsin frowned.

 

“Yes..in part, and only in a small part. Mako, Mulan did it out of love. She loved her father too much to let him go out on the battlefield and fall. Anyone can fall Mako, but Mulan chose to fight with love, to take a stand. Her motivation was love. And that was why she succeeded. Anger can only take you so far before you burn out like me, like Stacker, like Luna…”

 

Mako listened. Her face showed she was concentrating on Tamsin’s words.

 

“Mulan didn’t have to prove herself to earn her father’s respect and love. She already had it. The greatest gift that he received at the end was the return of his daughter, his daughter that he prayed would come back to him. Mako…Stacker will need you after I…leave. He will need you to bring him back from the darkness that I’ve seen him go to. I’ve been in his mind, and there is love. A great love and a great hope. It was love that saved you. You remember that alright? The Pentecosts never really do show emotion.”

 

“I know this is probably hard for you to fully understand right now. You will know in time. Actions give love so much more meaning than words ever could. You will know… ”

 

Tamsin pulled Mako into her side, letting her rest her head gently upon her chest as Tamsin stroked Mako’s soft hair. They continued watching the movie in comfortable silence before Mako fell asleep. Tamsin paused the movie and slid the comforter around Mako.

 

She considered telling Mako she loved her but stopped before she began. Seviers and Pentecosts never needed words to show love. Looks and touches were enough. With her arm around Mako, Tamsin fell asleep more readily than she had in days. Maybe it was the hard, strong heartbeat of determination that warmed her weak heart or the single-minded dreams of victory over Kaijus that, through osmosis, cleared away her nightmares of nothingness. 

 

 

~~~

 

Stacker came home late another day, feeling too weary and too hopeless. Another Kaiju, another fallen jaeger, another two lives wasted into the oblivion of the ocean. That quote about abysses, he can’t remember anymore, but it’s definitely staring back at him, staring a huge hole into his sanity. 

 

With a soul-departing sigh, he pushed the front door open and tossed his keys into a wooden bowl on a shoe cupboard. The glowing lights of the television casted a flickering light on two mounds on the couch. The colours of the Christmas tree (plastic, they couldn’t afford to waste resources) reflected upon two faces. He managed to crack a smile, another movie night. There was no sound though. 

 

He moved over to the couch. Mako was tucked in beside Tamsin, who was looking much more relaxed than he’s seen her in a while. Her hand was still on the remote. The comforter started sliding down Mako’s shoulder. Stacker caught it on time and tucked the comforter around her better. He moved to take the remote out of Tamsin’s hand. Then he turned around and saw the paused scene on the television. 

 

It was Mulan again. He chuckled softly. Mako was going to break the DVD with the number of times she watched that movie. But upon taking a closer look at the scene, it was Mulan in a tight embrace with her father, the sword and the medal tossed on the ground without thought. 

 

Stacker felt ashamed. This is what Mako had been craving for: his love, his attention, his pride. 

 

He turned around and glanced at Mako. Even in her dreams was she determined.

 

She was his pride. She was his joy. She had grown so much from the frightened little girl he picked up from the orphanage. And damn his reluctance to impart emotion. Pentecosts never say ‘love’, they show it when the recipient isn’t looking. 

 

His hand reached out on its own accord and stroked Mako’s hair, gliding over her round cheeks. Mako’s face instantly relaxed, her mind shifted now to what he imagined would be sweeter dreams. 

 

His other hand went out to stroke Tamsin’s arm. He was ready to lose her. They’ve said their goodbyes in looks, in touch. She knew him better than anyone else in this world. She peeked inside his mind and he hers. But she doesn’t know how he feels about Mako; it’s been years since they’ve drifted, but she does know how Pentecosts always react and how darn difficult it was for them to be emotional. 

 

Tamsin’s eyes fluttered open for a bit, blurry yet somewhat glad to see him. She whispered very softly as not to wake Mako.

 

“You should spend more time with her.”

 

He grunted in agreement before her lids drooped back shut. He rubbed Tamsin’s arm one last time before placing a kiss on Mako’s forehead. 

 

There would be plenty more time with Mako. He’s going to let Tamsin have Mako for whatever time she has left. 

 

 

———————

 

 

One year later. One year older. He has the lines to prove it. They’re etched in his skin, keeping track of his pain and his toil. But every day, Mako traces them away with her fingers. It was something that she saw Tamsin do and for some reason, after her funeral, Mako started doing it. 

 

It wasn’t fair to them, losing Tamsin so close to Christmas. Hawaii was damp and sticky, similar to the Shanghai base that they recently moved to. It was a sunny day, but it didn’t feel like one. They said their goodbyes, both standing perfectly still, no tears. Tears were unnecessary when grief was already set in their faces. Tears were for the times that you were alone and weakened. 

 

They took the first flight back to Shanghai. Mako went straight back to her bunker that was too small for his liking. He watched her slumped gait as she entered her chamber, shutting the door with a hollow thump. 

 

After returning to his office, Stacker collapsed into his chair, his hand rubbing his forehead furiously. He was feeling the cancer, the age, the weariness. His other hand went to his suit pocket, groping for his pill box. No amount of pills was going to soothe this migraine that was slowly building up pressure in his head. 

 

He sighed and pulled out the drawers of his office, searching aimlessly for something to do. He had taken a week off of duty, Herc insisted. It also seemed that Herc managed to squirrel away with the unfinished reports and documents. He stood up in frustration and looked around his new office. The cardboard boxes were still strewn across the room. He didn’t have time to set up with Tamsin and the seemingly endless reports of the new Shatterdome. He might as well start unpacking. 

 

He crouched down to a box and rummaged through it a while. Some old pilot files and damage reports on jaegers. His hand hit something hard and hollow. Stacker pulled out a DVD case. _Mulan._

 

_You should spend more time with her._

 

Stacker sighed and stood up. To honour Tamsin Sevier’s final request and to grasp the chance to develop a bond with this girl, Mako. This girl Mako, who he probably doesn’t know enough about despite the years he’s spent with her. 

 

_Time to right the wrongs before they set in stone. Time for new traditions. Time to relinquish old losses. Time to look away from the abyss._

 

Stacker grabbed his laptop and the DVD and made his way to Mako’s room. 

 

~~~~~

 

Herc didn’t know Stacker would be back so soon. He heard it from one of the jaeger techs. And as he walked towards Stacker’s office with a mind to kick him off his chair and snatch whatever jaeger cases away from his hands. The man needed to give himself a break. Maybe he ought to spend more time with his daughter. But really, he was not one to be giving advice on parenting. 

 

Herc didn’t see him in the office. It was still untouched save for the boxes that had been shuffled around. He started walking towards the Shatterdome when he heard singing coming from Mako’s quarters. The voice was gruff and off key and accompanied by a more on tune voice coming from a speaker. 

 

_You’re the saddest bunch I ever met_

_But you can bet before we’re through_

_Mister, I’ll make a man_

_Out of you_

 

Herc heard Mako giggling and trying to give instructions on how to sing better. 

 

_No, higher in pitch sensei. Up. Up._

 

_You’re a spineless, pale pathetic lot_

_And you haven’t got a clue_

_Somehow I’ll make a man_

_Out of you_

 

Herc Hansen walked away smiling. It sounded like something Stacker said to the new recruits on their first day. What a fitting song for the Marshall to sing. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

After the movie ended, Mako was starting to drift off as they sat on her bed. Stacker turned off his laptop and set it on her desk next to several sketches of disproportional jaegers with impossible weapons. He felt Mako shaking. She was crying silently. It is tiring to pretend that you’re okay. He knew that better than anyone. 

 

He wrapped his arm around her tiny farm and patted her back gently in a regular rhythm, in a similar fashion as you would a baby. Mako whispered brokenly.

 

“I miss her.”

 

Stacker closed his eyes. 

 

“I know.”

 

With steely resolve, Mako glanced up at Stacker with still glossy eyes. 

 

“I will be a great pilot sensei. And I will be just like you and Tamsin.”

 

Stacker smiled. Of that he had no doubt, it was the Pentecost/Sevier way. 

 

“I know you will. Not today, but someday. Now go to sleep.”

 

Mako yawned.

 

“Will you stay with me sensei?”

 

Deep down inside, Mako was still that scared little girl he first laid eyes on. Her frightened little face was full of gratitude and awe illuminated by the dying light of sunset. Her hands still clutched on to that blood red shoe. That picture of her was ingrained into his memory. This Stacker knew for sure. Some traumas cannot be erased. 

 

But on his life, Stacker Pentecost promised himself and Tamsin that he would protect her and teach her. He will guide her along to her eventual destiny whatever she may choose. Even if loss was laced in her goal, he will support her. She will be his pride, his everything. 

 

He leaned down and kissed her head and squeezed her tight to him. 

 

“I’ll stay with you. I promise.”

 

Stacker Pentecost closed his eyes. He understood now how Tamsin slept painlessly with Mako. She was a little piece of solace in this godforsaken planet, a ray of impossible hope. He slept well, knowing the future had her in it. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all! :D Thanks again to snack_size for beta-ing and Tielan for her hard work on the Secret Santa!


End file.
